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More Dog Humor

Why Dogs Can't Use Computers

#10. He's distracted by cats chasing his mouse.

#9. SIT and STAY were hard enough; CUT and PASTE are
out of the question.

#8. Saliva-coated floppy disks refuse to work.

#7. Three words: carpal paw syndrome.

#6. Involuntary tail wagging is a dead give-away that he's browsing
www.purina.com instead of working.

#5. The fire hydrant icon is simply too frustrating.

#4. He can't help attacking the screen when he hears "You've Got

#3. It's too messy to "mark" every Web site he visits.

#2. The FETCH command isn't available on all platforms.

#1. He can't stick his head out of Windows 98.

New Dog Breeds

Collie + Lhasa Apso
Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport

Spitz + Chow Chow
Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up a lot

Pointer + Setter
Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet

Great Pyrenees + Dachshund
Pyradachs, a puzzling breed

Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso
Peekasso, an abstract dog

Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel
Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle

Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever
Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists

Newfoundland + Basset Hound
Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors

Terrier + Bulldog
Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes

Bloodhound + Labrador
Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly

Malamute + Pointer
Moot Point, owned by....oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway

Collie + Malamute
Commute, a dog that travels to work

Deerhound + Terrier
Derriere, a dog that's true to the end

Bull Terrier + Shitzu
Oh, never mind...

Why It's Great To Be A Dog...

1.No one expects you to take a bath every day.
2.Your friends never expect you to pay for lunch, dinner or anything else for
that matter.
3.When it's raining, you can lie around the house all day and never worry
about being fired.
4.If it itches, you can reach it.
5.No matter what itches, no one is offended if you scratch it in public.
6.It doesn't bother you if your favorite television show is a rerun.
7.You can wear a fur coat and no one thinks you're insensitive.
8.April 15 means nothing to you.
9.People at drive-through windows never charge you for treats.
10.Your friends don't think less of you for passing gas.
11.A rawhide bone can entertain you for hours.
12.No one gets mad at you if you fall asleep while they're talking.
13.As an adult, it's ok if you haven't amounted to anything except being a dog.
14.The older you get, the more people respect you.
15.You can sleep late every day.
16.If you grow hair in weird places, no one notices.
17.You never get in trouble for putting your head in a stranger's lap.
18.There's no such thing as bad food.
19.You don't have to worry about good table manners.
20.Someone else combs your hair.
21.People think you're normal if you stick your head out the window to feel the
wind in your hair.
22.You're always excited to see the same old people.
23.Having big feet is considered an asset.
24.If you gain weight, it's someone else's fault.
25.Everything smells good to you.
26.A garbage can is a fast-food stop.
27.No one tells you to wipe your nose because it's wet.
28.No matter where you live, you own the place.
29.Your mate never complains because you whine.
30.Puppy love can last.